AGREEMENT TO LIMIT BAR TAB PAYMENT

This Agreement (the "Agreement"), dated this (the "Effective Date"), is entered into by and between <REDACTED> ("Payer") and all interested parties "Friends", collectively referred to as the "Parties."

WHEREAS, the Parties are esteemed acquaintances who have shared various social engagements, some of which may or may not have involved the consumption of alcoholic beverages;

WHEREAS, the Parties recognize that paying one's own bar tab is an outdated and archaic tradition that only commoners without any sense of humor would ever consider;

WHEREAS, the Payer, in an act of boundless generosity, sarcasm, and possibly impaired judgment, has expressed the intent to cover Friend's bar tab from time to time;

WHEREAS, the Parties have decided to capture their mutual understanding in a sarcastic legal document that no reasonable person would ever take seriously, and yet, here we are;

NOW, THEREFORE, in consideration of the mutual covenants, conditions, and promises set forth herein, the Parties hereby agree as follows:

# 1 SCOPE OF THE AGREEMENT

1.1 This Agreement, which shall be interpreted with a healthy dose of sarcasm, irony, and tongue-in-cheek humor, governs the Payer's commitment to provide financial assistance to Friend in the form of paying Friend's bar tab, subject to limitations that may or may not be entirely reasonable.

1.2 For the avoidance of doubt, this Agreement does not cover any other form of financial assistance or obligation, such as paying for Friend's rent, student loans, or therapy sessions (although the latter might be necessary after reading this Agreement).

# 2 LIMITATIONS ON BAR TAB PAYMENT

2.1 The Payer's obligation to pay Friend's bar tab shall be subject to the following limitations, which are designed to protect the Payer's bank account, liver, and sanity:

(a) The Payer shall only be responsible for paying Friend's bar tab on designated "Covered Evenings," which may include, but are not limited to, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other leap year. Because who doesn't love a spontaneous night out?
(b) The total amount of Friend's bar tab that the Payer shall be responsible for shall not exceed $100.00 USD per Covered Evening (the "Cap"). This Cap shall be subject to periodic adjustments, based on the Payer's mood, bank balance, and astrological sign.
(c) The Payer shall not be responsible for covering any of the following items on Friend's bar tab: (i) drinks with more than three types of alcohol, (ii) drinks with silly names that the Payer cannot pronounce, (iii) shots involving flames, (iv) any beverage containing the words "unicorn" or "rainbow," or (v) any items ordered by Friend's ex or potential future ex.
(d) The Payer's obligation to pay Friend's bar tab shall automatically terminate upon the occurrence of any of the following events: (i) Friend singing karaoke, (ii) Friend dancing on a table, (iii) Friend engaging in a heated debate about politics, religion, or reality television, or (iv) Friend attempting to order a "surf and turf" at the bar.

# 3 DISPUTE RESOLUTION

3.1 In the event of any dispute, controversy, or claim arising out of or relating to this Agreement, the Parties shall first attempt to resolve the matter through friendly, informal negotiations conducted in a spirit of sarcasm, humor, and goodwill, preferably over a beverage at the bar (but not on a Covered Evening).

3.2 In the event that informal negotiations fail to resolve a dispute between the Parties, the Parties agree to engage in a binding game of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" to determine the outcome of the dispute. The game shall be played best out of five, with the loser accepting the winner's decision as final and legally binding.

3.3 If the "Rock, Paper, Scissors" method is deemed insufficient or impractical for resolving the dispute, the Parties may then turn to arbitration, to be conducted by an arbitrator of their choosing, who must possess a strong sense of humor and preferably some experience in sarcastic legal matters. The arbitration shall be governed by the rules of the Sarcasm and Irony Resolution Association (SIRA), and the decision of the arbitrator shall be final and binding on both Parties.

# 4 AMENDMENT AND TERMINATION

4.1 This Agreement may be amended or modified only by a written instrument executed by both Parties, which shall contain an appropriate level of sarcasm to maintain the spirit of the Agreement.

4.2 This Agreement may be terminated by either Party upon written notice to the other Party, in the event that the notifying Party no longer finds the sarcasm amusing or the financial burden unbearable. Alternatively, the Agreement may be terminated upon the mutual agreement of both Parties that they have had enough of this whole sarcastic legal document thing and would rather just go back to being regular friends.

# 5 MISCELLANEOUS

5.1 This Agreement contains the entire understanding of the Parties with respect to the subject matter hereof, as long as they maintain their sense of humor.

5.2 This Agreement shall be binding upon and inure to the benefit of the Parties hereto and their respective successors, assigns, heirs, and legal representatives, who shall all be required to sign a separate sarcastic legal document acknowledging their understanding of the absurdity contained herein.

5.3 In the event that any provision of this Agreement is deemed invalid or unenforceable by a court of competent jurisdiction, the remaining provisions shall remain in full force and effect, and the Parties shall negotiate in good faith to replace the invalid or unenforceable provision with a provision that captures the original sarcastic intent.

5.4 This Agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of <REDACTED>, excluding its conflict of laws principles, and the Parties hereby submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of the State of <REDACTED>, which shall be required to maintain a sense of humor throughout any proceedings related to this Agreement.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the Parties have executed this Agreement as of the Effective Date.